May 22, 2009

            An Evgeni Malkin hat-trick puts the Pens up two games to none over the Canes in the Stanley Cup semi-finals.  I want to be excited about that, but I need to keep reminding myself that they trailed the Caps two games to none and managed to come back and win the series.  In other words, don’t get complacent.

            It’s Pittsburgh, Carolina, Detroit, and Chicago all fighting for the Stanley Cup.  I wonder if they’re upset up in the Great White North that not a single Canadian team made it to the semi-finals this year.  Or is any hockey good hockey?  Maybe the just enjoy watching some of their fellow countrymen on the ice, regardless of the hometowns of the teams.

            Last weekend, I had to replace a household appliance.  After years of faithful service, my old one died on me.  So I checked some ads, visited a few websites, decided what I wanted and where I would go to make my purchase, and off I went.  So there I am in the appliance section, standing next to the item I wish to purchase.  When the clerk finished waiting on the previous customer, he walks over to me and says, “Help ya, chief?” 

“Chief?”

I said “No thanks, just browsing,” then left the store and bought from their competition.  But on the plus side, at least he didn’t call me “Bro.”  Or “Bra.”

The Memorial Day 500 is going on this weekend.  It looks like we’ll get our #1 song sometime Monday afternoon.  In case you were wondering which song will top our list this year, let me save you some time and give you a hint.  This year’s #1 will NOT be Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.  Hope that narrows it down for you.

I got a very nice e-quest this week that read in part:

I really appreciate that you wear your love of the Who on your sleeve. I am a casual Who fan and would love it if you championed AC/DC instead, but I like that your show has musical personality. Classic Rock radio can be so same-ish and I like that you bring true heart and fandom to what you play.

            He asked for a Kinks song, which I was only to happy to play for him.  For what it’s worth, Pete Townshend, who turned 64 this week, lists The Kinks and the songwriting skills of Ray Davies among his influences.  As I recall, the Kinks and The Who were both inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame the same year.

            That, by the way, is how you write a proper e-quest.

            Have a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend, please take at least a moment to remember why we celebrate this holiday, and enjoy the 500.

May 18, 2009       

      Go Pens.  Semi-finals against Carolina start tonight.

      But I didn’t come here to tell you that.  I came here to share a few more emailed pictures that struck me as funny.

May 15, 2009

I was reading an on-line news story about Governor Palin’s book deal the other day, and in the comments section, someone, channeling Frank Zappa, posted, “Someone who can't talk publishing a book she can't write for people who don't read.”  BTW, the actual Zappa quote is “Rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, in order to provide articles for people who can't read” from a 1993 interview in Mojo Magazine. 

Someone else suggested Gov. Palin title the book The Audacity of Dope.

I know I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating.  How ‘bout them Penguins, and how ‘bout the series against the Caps?   Trailing 2 games to none, and they win it in seven.

Hat tricks, overtime wins, overtime losses—that series had it all.  Now, it’s on to the Eastern Conference finals.  Bring on the Canes!  The series gets underway Monday night.

Another suggested title for the Palin autobiography that I read somewhere:  An Idiots Guide to Being an Idiot.  Letterman called it The Book to Nowhere, and he had a Top 10 List:   

The Top 10 Suprises in Sarah Palin's book

           10. She's already completed her 2012 presidential concession speech

9.  Her husband Todd is a person of interest in dozens of unsolved snowmobile hit-and-runs

8.  State troopers have been instructed to taser Katie Couric on sight

7.  "Memoir" is misspelled

6.  Not only can she see Russia, earlier today she saw the astronauts working on the Hubble Telescope

5.  The entire thing, plagiarized word-for-word from Artie Lange's Too Fat to Fish

4.  Cover shows her in a passionate embrace with a shirtless Fabio

3.  Sworn in as Governor with her left hand on a copy of "Guns & Ammo" magazine

2.  Claims she had three-way sex with Michael Phelps and a stripper

1.  She voted for Obama

            Here are a few of the funnier pictures that passed through my inbox lately. At least, these are some of the ones I can share.   I thought I would pass them along, since they will nicely fill some space in my blog without me having to actually do any extra work.  Oh, I suppose I could just re-post some of this week’s funnier tweets, but I figure if you were all that interested you’d be one of our twitter followers by now.  Anyway, enjoy the pix, and have a great weekend, and remember a new secret sound bows Monday Morning.

May 10, 2009

Again I must say, “How ‘bout them Penguins?”

I should know better than to ever count them out.  What a series!  They were down 2-0, and now they lead the series 3-2!

• A Crosby hat-trick, even though it’s in a game they lose.    

• A spectacular 4-3 overtime win last night to take the series lead!

• And now a chance to win the series at home tomorrow (Mon 5/11) night! But if they can’t do it then, I would be ok with them taking the series Wednesday in DC in front of all those Caps fans.

I know I said before that just beating the Flyers would be enough, but I’d really like to see them take it all. 

May 9, 2009

This week, Tony gave away some Rolling Stones CDs using only the Twitter.  He also tweeted a few pix and updates from last night’s Springsteen concert at the BJC.  All good reasons to follow us.  Even Jeff Brown, techno-phobe that he is, sent a tweet.  But in case you’re not one of our followers, or don’t care to get wrapped up in this particular betamax, here are some of my favorite jokes we sent out this week.

Heroin addiction in Ohio is up 300% in the past decade. Scientists say it’s because the Browns suck.

Sarah Palin has yet to endorse John McCain in his 2010 Arizona senate race. McCain sez “Thanks!”

Scientists say hundreds of black holes are still roaming the universe. Most of them are named either “Hilton”, “Lohan”, or “Kardashian”.

The Hoff was rushed to the hospital with alcohol poisoning. Or, maybe alcohol was rushed to the hospital with a case of Hasselhoff poisoning

Employees of a Calif restaurant claim to see Jesus on their griddle. And a Jose in the dish room. And a Pedro parking cars.

Kirstie Alley told "People" magazine she wants to compete in a triathlon. Lucky for her, she's already an expert on carbo-loading.

Manny Ramirez suspended 50 games for taking a banned women's fertility drug. As punishment, he will change his name to Girly Ramirez.

Angelina Jolie reportedly cheated on Brad Pitt with a female rock star. For Jennifer Aniston's sake, I hope it wasn't with John Mayer.

PS:  Happy Mother’s Day.—pat

May 4, 2009

Back on April Fools Day, I blogged about some pranks I pulled on my brother.  Here’s another good prank story.  I wish I could say this was my idea, but I was just happy to be part of the project.

About 2 year ago, I was working for another company, at another radio station across town, when a friend of mine asked me for a little help.  He had this idea for a practical joke he wanted to pull on another friend, who happens to be a co-worker of the first friend.  When he told me what he had in mind, I couldn’t say “yes” fast enough.

A little background…the intended victim of this prank is a pretty excitable guy, and a huge fan of all the Pittsburgh sports teams, and he and the merry prankster in this story are always breaking each other’s stones. 

The first thing my friend the evil genius did was load his i-pod with songs we would play on the station were I used to work.  I think he even loaded a few commercials on there, and put together a playlist that could have easily been mistaken for a radio broadcast.  Then he emailed me some talking points, which I recorded and sent to him to upload.

So these two guys are working, and when one guy left the room, the other switched the audio on the office boom-box from the radio to his i-pod playlist using one of those little FM transmitters.  The guy comes back and doesn’t notice any difference.  A few songs and commercials play, and then he heard me on the air announcing a completely made-up contest.

I announced that a certain credit card company and gas station chain were rewarding their loyal customers with all kinds of great prizes, and you entered simply by using your debit card to purchase gas, which this guy did all the time.  Next, he heard me announce his name over the office radio as the winner of the Sports Lovers Package.

I told him he was getting 4 Steelers tickets, 4 Pirates tickets, hotel accommodations, plus dinner at some Pittsburgh restaurant where a few members of Penguins would be making an appearance.  He also heard that he was getting free food and gas, plus $1000 added to his debit card.  We were certainly being generous with the completely made-up prize. 

As I understand it, he must have jumped around the office, hootin’ and hollerin’ for about ten minutes before he called his wife to tell her the good news.  Only then did they let him off the hook by telling him the whole thing was fake.  He must have been devastated to learn that he not only didn’t win, but that no such contest ever existed.  I was happy to help.

Writing this story reminded me of another.  One time, I was home from college for a visit, when my brother and sister and I decided to order a pizza.  Right after we made the call, my brother and I hid his remote control fart machine near the entryway.  So when the doorbell rang, we gave my sister the money and told her to get the pizza.  And as soon as she opened the door to exchange cash for food, we were wailing on that fart button like drunken monkeys.  She was mortified, but I laughed so hard I got the hiccups.  Good Times. 

May 2, 2009

I see we hit 50 Twitter followers this week. Impressive, seeing as how there are some radio stations that don’t have 50 listeners. Here are some of my favorite “tweets” we sent this week.

Bea Arthur is dead. Now who will we think about to delay orgasm?

Temperatures in the 90s in New York City again. It’s the only time anyone will say the ladies on The View are “hot.”

The Octomom wants to get either a dog or a pig. Then she’ll mock it for having such small litters.

TX gov Rick Perry wants 38,000 doses of flu shots from the feds. They remember the Alamo for 173 years but forget about seceding in a week.

Katie Couric is showing off a new super-short haircut. She looks like a female Rachel Maddow.

Scientists say people who sleep in are more pleasant than early risers. Bill O' Reilly gets up at 4:00 A.M.

Republican Senator Arlen Specter is switching parties . . . . . . Calm down, Barney Frank. I said "parties", not "teams".

Larry the Cable Guy will tape a new special in July. Amongst Larry's topics: Globalization in the current economic downturn. Also, farts.

Scientists say scrawnier people have more acute hearing. In other news, John Madden is nearly deaf.

Creed is reforming. So all of you who had "5 years" in the "How long will it take Creed to burn through all their money?" pool...congrats!

Sarah Palin on Am Chopper tonight. Great--The pin-up girl for people who can't touch themselves on a giant, vibrating machine.

Researchers have found that eating fatty foods can help boost a person's memory. Especially when it comes to remembering to get diabetes.

Doctors say that a simple urine test can help determine cancer risk. For example, if your sample says "P. Swayze", you have cancer.

Donations to the Republican National Committee are up. Probably because of all that "tea-bagging"

70% of men feel inferior when they look at male models on magazine covers. Ryan Seacrest, on the other hand, feels himself.

Isn’t it fun to use new technologies to waste time at work? Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

April 27, 2009

How ‘bout them Penguins? Down 3-0 after 1, tie it up in the second, and get the go-ahead plus an empty netter in the 3rd. And while it would certainly be nice if they bring the cup back to the ‘Burgh, to me, sending the Flyers packing is victory enough. Anything beyond this is gravy.

I saw where Bea Arthur died over the weekend. She was 86. Golden Girls reunion: 50% complete. You’re next Betty White.

Tony told me this week that a couple of the jokes I posted on our twitter page were re-tweeted. Apparently, this is high praise in geek-land. In case you were wondering, the jokes people thought enough of to pass along were the Rosie O’Donnell/Pop Tarts joke, and the Madonna/Young Stud joke.

When did draft day become such a thing? Having picks sent to your crack-berry in real time, watching it on TV, or paying admission to see it in person just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. In terms of entertainment value,  the whole thing ranks right up there with a graduation ceremony. We won’t get to see these guys play until August, so wouldn’t checking a website, or if you’re old-school, reading the Sunday paper give you the same information? Just how important is it that I have instant knowledge as to what clothes guys I don’t know will be wearing a few months from now?

We just passed the 10th Anniversary of the Columbine massacre. It distressed me to learn that I have something in common with one of the shooters: People who call espresso “Ex-presso.”

After all this warm weather we’ve been enjoying, I think maybe I should put my snow shovel back in the shed. But I’m afraid that as soon as I put it away, we’ll get more cold, snowy weather.

April 21, 2009  

If you haven’t been following us on Twitter, here are some “Tweets” you may have missed.

Pirates have been dominating the news for the past several days. And, out of habit, Metallica sued Somalia.

Fast & Furious 5" is in the works. The film will differ from the previous four because it has the number "5" in the title.

In his Easter sermon, the Pope said that the world needs to rediscover hope. Now, Rush Limbaugh wants the Pope to fail.

Billy Joel suspects that his wife is cheating on him. When Joel asked her to explain, she handed him a mirror.

David Caruso is being sued by an ex-girlfriend. When reached for comment, he uttered a hacky one-liner and then removed his sunglasses.

How do you make antifreeze? Take her shawl.

O.J. Simpson's sister died from kidney failure. Her kidneys claim they're innocent, and won't rest until they find the real failed organs.

The Octomom is on the cover of "In Touch Weekly". It's the first time someone will "open her" without a baby falling out.

GW Bush throws out 1st pitch for the Rangers, who will follow by stumbling through 8 innings, then hope a black dude saves it in the 9th.

 And if you think we waste time with the twitter, check out this guy.

Randy Sarafan got the bright idea to modify his office chair with a wireless sensor module, a natural gas sensor and some other hardware, then connected the whole setup to his Twitter account.  Here’s how. Now, any time Randy farts at work, his office chair senses his gas and sends a new status update or “Tweet” to his Twitter account. 

Perhaps, for some reason, you’d like to become one of Randy’s followers. 

April 12, 2009

Happy Easter.

I had a really poor showing with my picks in Mad Marchness.  Nothing against Freebird, but Won’t Get Fooled Again should have won.  It is, after all, the greatest song ever. When it fell, that was pretty much it for me. 

Do you do the Twitter thing, and if so, are you one of our followers?  It might be worthwhile for you.  Tony’s run a couple of Twitter contests, sometimes we give out a little inside information, and if I hear a good joke I can cut down to 140 characters, I’ll send it along.  If nothing else, it will kill some time.

A few weeks ago, I blogged about having a kid’s show theme song stuck in my head.  Lucky for me, that got unstuck, but over the weekend it seems to have been replaced by a couple of old commercial jingles.  One is from a Diet Pepsi ad back in the late 70s or early 80s, I think.  “Diet Pepsi, one small calorie, now you see it, now you don’t.”  The other one cluttering up the old brain pan is “Charlie says…Love my Good and Plenty.” 

Rescue Me finally came back for another season this week.  If the first episode and the season preview are any indication, it looks like it will have been worth the wait. 

So it’s the Pens and the Flyers in round one of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  I’d love to see the Pens win it all, but whichever team survives the first round will likely head to the second round bloody and battered.  Much as I want to see the Penguins drink from Lord Stanley’s cup, I will actually root for the Flyers if they end up facing the Red Wings.

In case you missed the announcement earlier this week, guitarist Robin Trower is coming to the State Theatre on September 24.  Tickets go on Sale Friday, and we’ll have more tickets for you to win.  Should be a great show.